tbs

Since we are on this awkward subject, let me explain....While on a family camping trip I had a recurring case of tbs. I had to do a number. Not just any number but to be specific, a number 2. To define this a bit more clearly; even though I am sure we all are rather sure of what it is I will enlighten you, it is waste matter eliminated from the bowels; excrement. So on my camping trip I went to the outhouse to perform my number. However with nerves and being out of my comfort zone I developed tbs.
TBS= Timid Bowel Syndrome. It is exactly what the acronym stands for. Lets just say for three days my bowels were just that, timid. So unfortunately I was unable to excrete my waste until I was back in the comfort of my own bathroom and porcelain potty.
You maybe wondering why I would write about something so crude, let me tell you many girls are suffering from this unpleasant disease. I once heard a story of a young girl who could not bring her self to do a number with her boyfriend anywhere near. The wedding soon approached and then they were off to their honeymoon. Well once they were living together and spending all this time together her TBS peeked and she could not bring herself to perform any sort of number two. So for the entirety of her honeymoon her bowels were oh so timid. Long story short right after the honeymoon she went to the doctor to help loosen the clog of stools that had been building up for the past week and a half.
This story is so upsetting which leads me to another about my mother and I. We both work at the same pharmacy and in the back of the pharmacy there is a unisex bathroom which everyone uses. My mother and I both dislike having to use that for any kind of number one or two that is some circumstances we will go to the public library to help out our timid bowels.
My cousin experiences very similar experiences with her own personal bowel movements and work. A girl in my nutrition class would over dose on fiber to try and make the bowel movement as fast as possible to try and help her timid bowels out.
Ultimately bowels were made to have movements, it is a natural daily thing that we have been doing since we were born. Why in the world is TBS even happening to anyone?

lesson learned:

some people are trashy & you can't stop them.

a baby's bottom.

I LOVE FACIALS! Even if they are only $1.69 at Fred Myers.Some certain kinds will also make you look like an old oil painting until you wash it off, and the true beauty of your new skin will shine. They make my face look and feel better. When I am rich I will go get expensive ones done every week. Ashlee and I have been into them since the eighth grade. &&& we recently had a group facial with festivities including pizza, and David.

T.P.

Toilet Paper is one of those basic human needs. Much like water. It varies in price. Personally I love Scott Extra soft, super-mega roll. (The one that provides a extendable wall thing.) This kind in particular is a bit on the steep side, but well worth the money you spend. Since I am a poor college student I choose to no longer buy this, or any brand of T.P. at all for the matter. You maybe wondering how I am living without toilet paper since it is one of those basic humans needs. Well, I have been borrowing it from a public bathroom for the past year and a half. I feel extremely justified in doing this for several reasons.

1. The public bathroom is at the school cafe that i frequent. Their food is over priced and not that great. So they owe it to me since I have been a loyal customer for the past year and a half.

2. My job as a Resident Assistant gives me a free meal plan, this is a great benefit. This new school year there was a budget cut, and now all RA's get the smallest meal plans. In year's past they had the second to largest one. So I feel that the least the school can do for me to make up for all the budget cuts is to pay for my toilet paper.

Even though my toilet paper is free, it is still a big inconvenience. It takes time to get it out of the dispenser, and I have to time it just right when there is no one in the bathroom. It is a huge roll like none you could buy at any local Walmart. So putting several in a bag and walking around campus with out look suspicious is really quite difficult, and can be embarrassing.

One time when we were clean out and I knew after class I would not have time to go to the cafe bathroom to borrow some before it closed I went to class with one roll in my purse. In the middle of class I went digging into my purse for something and forgot the T.P. was within and the roll went rolling out. Everyone saw it and I was so embarrassed and thought that someone was going to turn me in. I had no choice but to have it in my purse at that exact time. That cafe bathroom in the only one I know how to borrow toilet paper from. And that cafe was going to be closed when I was out of class and I was not going to go with out toilet paper. I have tried many other bathrooms in many other buildings on campus. Alas. Those ones failed me. Luckily for me I was not turned in.

It is also very inconvenient because the tissue on those huge rolls is not nearly soft as Scott's and does not come with an extendable extender to put it on the wall in fact there is not even a hole in the middle of the roll. It just sorta is always rolling around on the back of the toilet or floor. This is challenging especially when you are on the pot and it rolls right away from you. I am grateful that the cafe has been so generous the past year and half with providing me with a basic human need.

i may never know why

Why was my new bathroom mate so strange, disgusting, controlling, and scary. If you notice I used the term was. She came to me this morning and said she needed out, and that she wanted a single room. She also mentioned that it was not me or my other room mate, Jessica, that it was her. Ok, let me shed a bit more light on the situation by helping you get to know Aubrey a bit better.

Name: Aubrey Mitchell (Sometimes her last name is Robinson.??)
height: 4 11
weight: around 230
hair: black sometimes with a weave
eyes: black
age: 23
hometown: Somewhere in the deep south (Arkansas)
boyfriend: Billy Ray Higgins (her description- Big Country Bear.)
favorite phrase: "oh Huney...trust me....I KNOW"
favorite snack: Ramen Noodles (about 5 packs a day. No joke.)
favorite class: no one knows she doesn't go.

Now I will share some personal experiences with you about my many encounters with Aubrey Mitchell. The first day I met her I gave her my number and told her if she needed anything she could feel free to text me and that i would be in class. Her response, "Yes ma'am," With a big blink and head nod. I didn't realize this at the time but that simple response was soon to become a very annoying trend.

Later that night I came to see how her moving in process was going and if she wanted to go to wal mart later. She agreed but had to shower and what not to get ready. From my room a smell like I had never smelled before came wafting from the bathroom into my room. I entered the bathroom only to investigate... I find Aubrey with paper scissors removing the pretty soft black long curls form her scalp. It then hit me like a brick she was cutting out her weave. This would allow her scalp to breathe and be free for the first time in like three weeks. Not to mention during that time her hair was not washed. (yuck)The smell was her decaying scalp. She said after she took her hair out she was just gonna shower and then blow dry her hair. Then she said oh by the way I have this amazing blow dryer that you can use when ever you would like. So I said sure maybe I will try it out the next morning the next morning she left it out on the counter for me to use.....take a look to what I found waiting for me.


Wait it gets worse...

Within the last twenty min she said,"I am going to study so you need to come here so I can put sticky notes all over you." I said, "What?" Then she said, "so I can study for my anatomy class." I was like, I can't I am busy writing a hate blog about you. Ok, I didn't really, but I did let her down, and her response was, "Ok, I will have to let you study tonight." Does she really think I am going to stand their in my underwear with sticky notes on me so she can "study"??? Really? It would have maybe been funny if she was joking.

There are so many things I could share about her but they would not be appropriate whatsoever. But I will give you a small idea. Like the advice she gives me about what to do in a threesome, or couple's sex. That is right couples sex...I guess she went on a double date and then they all participated. And the fact that she tells me like I care and thinks that I will be involved in these things.

Average food intake
Breakfast: 2 bowls of Cookie Crisp, packs of ramen noodles.
Lunch: Some kind of fast food meal-with fries drink and a burgar etc, && 2 pack of ramen in addition.
Dinner: Fast food again maybe a little Cesar's pizza instead depends on her mood etc &&& 2 more packs of ramen noodles.
Snacks: ramen noodles, ramen noodles, ramen noodles, & cheese queso. She eats a lot of that with everything too.

One more last thing about her. This was about the second or third day of seeing her in my bathroom. I was doing my hair, and she was wanting to get drunk with me. I told her that I do not drink and she freaked and named a bunch of different alcoholic drinks. I told once again nope, I do not drink. Then she said angrily, "I am so upset that I can not just sit down and have a glass of wine with you." Then she left the bathroom.

Don't get me wrong she is really a sweet girl sometimes, I am just being honest. I wish I could describe more about her, however this is getting long and I am sick of typing. I will never be able to figure out why someone would be this way. I have not even scratched the surface of this girls personality, merely a bit of her sick habits. To write some of the most strange and awkward conversations I have had with this girl would take an eternity. I think she is moving out though so maybe things will be just a bit better in apt # c31 & c38.

its time

I suppose I will never really understand why I went so long with out blogging. However as of recent it is quite clear that it is time to begin.